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A special introductory offer:
The Best-known Secrets to Everything Program
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Welcome. In the next five minutes, you're going to see stories of how this amazing humor site is changing the lives of people just like you. Now, you may be thinking that what we're offering is similar to humor advertised elsewhere, but this is a radically new method that is not available on TV or in stores. We call it the Best-known Secrets to Everything Program, and it works, unlike those over-priced, cheap imitations.
The Program includes everything you need to get started. It offers an insightful and well-balanced mix of humor and includes, as a special bonus, unique parodies of all sorts of stuff. After reading The Lampoonery's soon-to-be-patented plan for everything, you'll even wish you never had to go to work ever again. And with the Quick-Start Video we're thinking about maybe someday offering, it couldn't be simpler to be on your way to an easy-cleaning, non-stick life.
This Program has touched many lives, as seen by the story of Crosswell G. Troglodyte, of Sandpoint, Idaho. He has this to say: "Before I found The Lampoonery and started using their formula for success, I was working 70 hours a week between two dead-end jobs just to make ends meet. Now, after only 21 days on the Program, I've cut back to 68 hours a week at those same two jobs. I have more time to do those things I really enjoy doing, like watching infomercials."
Companies like American Motors and the Penn Central railroad might pay thousands of dollars an hour for the Best-known Secrets to Everything Program. But now, simply by visiting this website, you can reap all of the benefits - without attending any high-pressure sales meeting!
But let's listen to another testimonial- this one from Cosco Babbidge, a Certified Public Accountant who experienced remarkable results: "The Program gave me everything I needed- satire, personal experience humor, and a little zany madcap fiction. In the last three months, I've purchased five houses with no money down, lost 25 pounds, developed better muscle tone, and gotten the full, vibrant-looking head of hair I've always wanted. I can read a book in only an hour and remember the names of everyone I meet. The Program gave me the confidence to go out and learn how to do all of that on my own. Like they say in the program, If at first you don't succeed, you must be doing something really, really dumb."
Others have equally dramatic stories. Meet Periwinkle B. Taterhead, of Osceola, Iowa, who told us: "The Lampoonery must be psychic. My humor columnist said that something was about to happen in my life - something that was unlike any other thing that had ever happened. He wouldn't tell me exactly what it was or when it was going to happen because he didn't want to ruin the big surprise ending, but I just knew I'd meet the woman of my dreams! I met Bertha in the supermarket the very next day and she swept me off my feet. The uncanny thing is, we share so many things: we're both lactose intolerant and love reruns of "Hawaii Five-O." And what are the odds against both of us owning 1977 Pinto wagons? It's been a whirlwind romance and, just last Saturday, she proposed and made me the happiest man in the world. All I can say is, thanks!"
These are just a few of the many happy people who've benefited from The Lampoonery's Program. Why not give it a try to see what it can do for you? You need make no commitment now - all we ask is that you read for a no-risk 30-day trial period. Remember that the success stories you saw here today are representative and your results may vary. But as part of this special introductory offer, if you're not completely amused, you may keep this ad as our gift.
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NOTE: This site contains parody and satire and is packaged as amusingly as possible by modern writing methods. However, some settling may occur during download and product may not appear funny to the consumer.